The Lovely Twos

I think I’m going to miss Jacob’s 2-year-old self the most. Don’t get me wrong, I loved his infancy. Especially 3-4 months. Every infant milestone is such a big deal and everything is so brand new! But, since Jacob has turned 2 his personality is just so vibrant. Even though he has his “terrible two” moments, it’s so much fun to see how independent he’s becoming and how much he’s becoming himself.

Taking after his mommy he’s a bit of a late bloomer. He didn’t get his first tooth until he was 1-year and 1-month old (on Thanksgiving Day). I didn’t get my first tooth until I was 18-months. He walked at a normal age (the day of his 1^st birthday party, November 1^st) right at 1-year-old. But, he didn’t start talking (not a real flow of words anyway) until he was 2. That is about right for my side of the family and I think Joe was starting to worry he would never talk. But, almost every boy on my side of the family started talking really late. But, once they start…they never stop!! And Jacob is just the same. In fact, before he had really started putting words together, he said his first sentenced and stunned me and Joe. We were looking for a toy and Jacob said, “I got it!” Joe & I just stared at him then burst out with the typical parental pride and made him repeat it again and again. We couldn’t believe that he’d spoken his first sentence and he barely had 5 words in his vocabulary.

He had about a week off from school over Christmas and on his first day back all of his teachers asked Joe, “Did you finally plug this kid in? He has been talking non-stop today!” And he is still talking! He is now repeating every single thing you say. He called Joe “Joe” the other day, so now Joe is just Daddy in our house. Yesterday, Joe came home and told me that Miss Shelby (Jacob’s teacher) said that Jacob can recite the months of the year. What? I couldn’t believe it. So while I was giving him his bath I asked him if he wanted to say the months of the year with me and he smiled and nodded. And he said them right along with me. I couldn’t believe it. He’s learning so much, so fast.

And he is such a prankster. While walking upstairs to our apartment, he stopped and asked Joe “house?” at one of the neighbor’s doors. Joe said, “Is that our house, Jacob?” To which Jacob replied with a scrunched up face, “Nooooooooo!” That is his favorite game and he’ll play it over and over again and crack himself up.

The thing I love the most is how affectionate he is. He’s always happy to give hugs and kisses and now he likes to “tickle.” He wiggles his fingers around and says, “cickle, cickle, cickle” and goes right for your neck. He gets me laughing every time!

He’s such a happy boy. He literally wakes up smiling and laughing. I’m usually the first to get up in the house as I try to be almost ready to walk out the door before anyone else gets up. That way, I can get Jacob ready and we can all leave at the same time. Usually he wakes up while I’m doing my hair and he walks in the bathroom, sees me and starts to giggle and smile. I love it!

Every day is a new reason to smile and a new chance to give and get hugs and kisses from my boy. He’s growing so fast and it’s been in the blink of an eye. I truly love this time of growing and learning by leaps and bounds.

A Crazy Mom’s Life

That should have been the alternate title for this blog. It has been a very busy…year? More than a year since I last blogged.

In one month my beautiful boy will turn 2. He’s already half my height and running around like a mad man constantly. Walking doesn’t exist in a two-year-old’s world apparently. Having a toddler is world’s different from having an infant. Infants are, generally, very compliant to the desires of their parents. Whereas, toddlers hear what you’re saying, but feel like they’re going to move in a different direction at this time. But, they do appreciate your interest and will call you if, at a later time, they decide to go along with that train of thought. As a parent it feels like you spend a lot of time begging & pleading about the putting on of clothes or the eating of food; and most of the time being frustrated that your life has become consumed with trying to understand the motives behind your child’s actions and outbursts. Also, you don’t get why your child doesn’t understand that you’re just trying to help them!! But, I digress.

Back to my current crazy situation:

As a result of unforeseen circumstances, we’ve had to put Jacob in a wonderful Montessori school. Today is the end of his very first week and boy has it been a long week! He’s currently determined to be a big boy and although I took the giant crib rails down and put up the convertible, toddler, half-rail on his crib – he only wants to sleep in the full-sized bed in his room. When he sleeps, it’s wonderful, but when he gets up 2am and comes into our room then proceeds to fall asleep and kick me & Joe in the face as he rotates in a full circle around our Cal-King, it’s a different story. Suffice it to say that all of us in the Aguilar house are a bit tired this week.

It could be the new routine. It could be the new sleeping situation(s). It could be that Grammy is no longer living with us. It could be that he’s teething. It could be a whole horrible mixture of all of these events that have combined to create this demon child that has taken over my darling boy.

He has done nothing but cry all week. Not at school. He cried the first few days when dropped off, but only for a little while and has really adjusted well to the school routine. But, at home…it’s like a switch has been flipped and my husband and I have no idea how to shut it off. Yesterday he cried from the moment he woke up until he went to school, and then when Joe picked him up he cried from then until bedtime; which I enforced way earlier than I normally do because I just had to make the crying stop. There were a few quiet moments that he was distracted by a rogue roll of toilet paper that had gotten left in the living room and when he remembered the joy of looking at his books. But, other than that it seemed like a constant wall of noise coming out of my son’s mouth.

This morning I actually felt dizzy listening to him cry as I was trying to figure out if he wanted to eat or not and if he wanted to be held or not. He wasn’t really clear on any of the options, never really said no or yes to anything I was offering up and refused to “show me” what he wanted. So, I sat there staring at him cry and almost cried myself wishing I could probe his brain to give him whatever he wanted to make it stop!

I’m not typically an advocate of spoiling your children. But, sometimes you just need to make the crying stop. This is the point we’re at right now. Just get through all the transitions and attempt this with the least amount of crying. So far we’ve been unsuccessful on that last part. Hopefully I can keep my sanity intact while we maneuver this latest hurdle of parenting. Advice is always welcome. But, mostly we’d like prayers.

Foodies everywhere

REJOICE!
The day has come to check out my new venture with two of my best friends! :) We started a blog about FOOD!! More specifically, about recipes for food. Recipes that busy moms can use. I have yet to add a recipe because I've been going non-stop the past few days and haven't really cooked. (Unless you count turning on my oven to warm up some pre-cooked dishes) But, Katie & Michelle have me beat by 2 recipes each. They will make you drool. So, for all that follow this blog...check out my other blog I'm co-conspirator on. If nothing else, it will make you drool. Be sure and check it out.
Until then, here are a few recent pics of my little man : 

Jacob sitting in an old-time fire engine

These two are trouble

Dad & Jake

 

In the works...

In addition to this blog, my friend, Katie, and I have decided to start a food blog. Who doesn't love food?! It's definitely a work in progress, but our goal is to start a collection of recipes we like and want to share with other busy moms (or busy people in general) and get recipes those busy bees want to share with us! :) We'll post pics and steps and maybe even messy face pictures (babies only!) haha So, although it's still in the works, please bookmark it and check back for posts. I believe Katie has already been cooking....

New Blog

The List

Lately I've felt frustrated. I think the new-baby exhaustion has finally worn off . I'm back to work and I've developed a routine. But, now all of those things that got pushed to the back burner during the pre-baby-trying-to-get-the-house-ready-for-a-new-baby frenzy and the post-baby-never-getting-more-than-two-hours-of-sleep-at-a-time haze are starting to work their way to the front of my mind. 

And I've found myself complaining about them. 

Complaining to my husband. 
Complaining to myself. 

But, mostly I just find myself in that state of complaint and frustration. The past two nights I've had a hard time falling asleep. Things have been running through my mind and I can't clear it. So many things around the house that I want to get done that just bug me. Then I started to think of how I was feeling and, more importantly, how I was letting that dictate how I was acting. Frustration slowly seeping out toward people and situations that have nothing to do with my own frustrations. And I thought, "Oh my gosh. I'm becoming a nag!" *sigh* I had been nagging about the closet, nagging about this box and that pile.

Nag. Nag. Nag. 

So while lying in bed trying to shut my brain off so I could sleep....I made a list. I entitled it "Things I want to do around the house." (Nothing like getting right to the point) I decided I would make it a list of even the smallest details so I could feel like I was accomplishing something even if it was little by little. For instance, we have lots of paperwork from taxes and health benefits and baby stuff that is basically in a box somewhere. Or in boxes in a couple of places :) So, on my list, instead of just writing "organize paperwork," I wrote "Buy hanging file drawers for paperwork" then the next line "organize paperwork" and "put in drawers." Instead of it being a huge undertaking: going out and finding the right organizational contraption, the right folders, coming home and going through the papers, cleaning out what we don't need, sorting, etc. and finally getting it all put away - it's one small task at a time. Starting with having a place to put those papers once I have the time to go through them.

Well, I crossed one thing off my list - purchasing the organizational contraption :) And it's done. Crossed off the list. Out of my mind. One small thing that I can't complain about anymore. 


My pastor preached a few weeks ago and said there were just 3 small points he wanted us to take away from the message. One that really stuck with me was "Don't make excuses, make a change." It stuck with me, but I wasn't living it. I was allowing my frustrations to build and dictate how I was interacting with those around me. I was making excuses "I work full time, I come home and take care of the baby, dinner, laundry, etc." instead of making a change in myself. You always hear the saying, "If something bothers you, change it." Well, instead of changing it, I allowed it to change me. 
Well, I'm done making excuses. I'm ready to start making changes. Maybe this may seem like a dramatic reaction to housework that needs to be done, but living for Christ and being a Christian isn't just when you go to church. It's every single day. It's the decisions that we make and how we interact with those around us. It's keeping your house clean. :)
It felt really good to run some boxes down to the dumpster today after I went through stuff in our storage closet outside. 
Then, I crossed that off the list.

Getting Big...

My last post was pretty much an outpouring of emotion. So, I've decided to try my best to dedicate the next few posts to chronicle just how much (and how quickly) Jake is growing. I know I've got friends down south as well as family that reads my blog (thanks Katie for letting me know Katie!) and waits for new pictures and video. Joe thinks it's a little corny to post 4 minute videos of the baby doing nothing more than crawling around, but I know better. I know that Nana Isabel and Auntie Val love watching those little moments that I get to see every day. So, I'm going to post a couple of videos that I took just this evening. Jake gets his bath and bottle around 6:30 and after that he gets a big burst of energy right before bed. This is him crawling around, pulling up on his toy basket, trying to get the dogs toys and just basically exploring. I tried my best to get him to make some of his noises and wave at the camera, but he wouldn't do any of it. Until I shut off the camera (of course).
ENJOY!

Growing Pains

They tell you the whole time you're pregnant, "Just wait...your baby will be toddling around before you know it." And you think to yourself, "If I can just get to a point when I'm not pregnant, that would make me deliriously happy." Then you blink and your little baby you worked so hard to grow and push out is standing up, banging on the coffee table and drooling enough to rival Niagra Falls. What "they" neglect to tell you is how hard it is to watch your child grow and gain independence before your very eyes.
We've been very blessed with an incredibly happy baby. My co-worker tells me it's because he has happy parents. :) I'll accept that. But, mostly I think it's due to Joe's easy-going nature that Jacob has inherited. It's incredibly easy to get a smile out of this boy and it just makes your day to hear him laugh.
But, I'm learning a few things about myself while he's learning all the things his fingers, hands, and toes can do. I'm learning that parenting is the most under-appreciated, selfless life that one can live. And I had no idea everything that meant until becoming one myself. The minute I laid eyes on my Jacob the whole world tilted in a new direction. All of my previous priorities were re-aligned in comparison to his needs.
About a week ago we had a rough patch. More acurately....about a week ago the rough patch ended and it's taken me a week to gain my strength to get back to my blog. For about 2 weeks straight the baby just cried. He would cry during the day with grandma, he would cry in the afternoon when I got home, he even started waking up during the night (something he hasn't done in more than 2 months) to cry. This is obviously an exaggeration, but to me, it seemed like all I ever heard was my baby crying. It could have been him teething (though, we've still got a toothless grin looking at us), or it could've been any number of things. All I know is that nothing made him happy. He cried when you tried to put him to sleep, he cried when you picked him up, he cried when you put him down to play, he cried if you didn't pick him up. He was not the happy baby I had known for 8 1/2 months. And I felt completely helpless. He was fed, he had a clean diaper, he had teething medicine in, he had a pacifier....everything I could do to make him comfortable and happy I had done. Yet, he still cried and cried. And so I cried. And cried.
I felt that as his parent and caregiver, I should be able to make him happy. I felt like because he was crying, I was somehow failing as his mother. I read websites and talked to my mom and there were really no answers out there. We'd tried everything. One day, I got home from work and he was happy to see me for about 10 minutes and then the crying started. We fed him, we diapered him, we bathed him, we took him outside (which works almost every single time because he absolutely loves being outside) and nothing was working. I sat on our balcony in the rocking chair while he cried uncontrollably and tried my hardest not to cry. I tried to calm myself down (babies always pick up on your energy/attitude) and just help him relax and rock back and forth. Nope. He was not having it. My mom came out and got him to give me a break and I just sat out there and cried. I listened to him crying and realized that this is the one thing that no one tells you about parenting. The absolute heartbreak you feel to see your child hurt, upset, unhappy. How often had my mom done the same thing? Walked with me as an infant, rocked with me and cried herself because I couldn't be soothed?
Part of our tears are borne of frustration, sure, but a lot of them are from the sheer desire to make everything better. At that very second I felt the deepest respect for parents out there that just stick with it; that love their child unconditionally and cry their own silent tears of frustration and helplessness. Parenting is truly a work of love. A continual process of evolution, of growth. Every day as your child grows and learns new things, you see a new side of yourself, realize some new thing and encounter an aspect of your personality you didn't know you had.
For me, I realized that I felt the need to control everything. My inability to soothe Jacob forced me to realize that there are some things I cannot fix. No matter how much effort I put in to fix it. But, you know what? It's OK. It's good for me to learn to let go. And I'm thankful that having a child has helped me grow as a person.
When you were little you always thought of adults as having it all together. They went to work and earned money and payed bills; all the things that only adults did. Now I'm realizing that just because you're a parent doesn't mean you're done growing. There are always more things to learn and more ways to grow.
My prayer is that I grow into the person God wants me to be and the person that my child can always look up to as an example. Growing pains may come, but I look to the future and the person I'm becoming.