Can't a mom just relax?

Two days ago if you had asked me about starting a blog I would have said, "I don't think so. Not me." And then last there was last night. Joe had taken the baby to SF for the day and brought me back a little surprise! Lush is my absolute favorite spot for bath soaks, bubble bath, etc. and he had gotten me a little gift pack for being such a cool mom (later posts will probably delve into my coolness, but we'll leave that for the future). It was such a long week at work. I hadn't really been able to sleep all week. I always have trouble falling asleep and this week was the mother of all insomnia. I just couldn't shut my brain down! So, when Joe showed up with that box of goodies I jumped up and down with glee!! I decided that after the baby went to sleep mommy was going to have a little "me" time!

I had just gotten the water started and the bath meltaway melting (whatever that means) and in comes Joe.

"What's wrong with the baby?"

"Nothing."

"Good. What do you need?"

"Nothing I'm just going to brush my teeth"

Maybe I didn't tell him that I wanted "me" time, but I did tell him I was going to take a relaxing bath.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure babe, what's up?"

"Can you shut off the baby monitor?"

-pause-

"Can you hear him from in here?"

"No, but I don't want to"

(Wow...that came out sounding a lot more mean than it did in my head)

"I also don't want to hear you brushing your teeth. I'm trying to relax." (Might as well go all in since I've already started down the path!)

Queue Joe walking out, closing door behind him and muttering "Excuse me!" just loud enough for me to hear.

That got me thinking about an article I read the other day on www.babble.com. It was "16 things a mom really wants for Mother's Day. And it talked about how what a mother really wants most of the time is to be left alone. Or to have some quiet time. But, we're so afraid to ask because we don't want anyone to think that we don't care. One of the things on the list was time alone. Not just to be left alone, but still hear kids playing (screaming) in the living room and your husband making a mess in the kitchen. No. We want a night in a hotel room all alone. With a huge bathtub to soak in and absolutely no possibility of interruptions. But, if we ask to not spend time with our family, what kind of mother are we?

And this is my discovery - no one tells a mom that it's ok to take some time for herself. Everyone assumes that because you're a mother you want to live your life for someone else. Once your baby is born, your life is forever changed, it's true. And once you see that little one, you will do anything and everything to make sure they thrive in life. This includes your sleep, your time, and sometimes your sanity to make sure they are cared for. But, every once in a while we just want to stop thinking about everyone else and just think about us.

So, to all of you mother's out there - I get it. I finally get it. To all of you new mothers and soon to be mothers - it's OK. It's even healthy to want alone time, quiet time, time for yourself. If your husband won't give it to you, call a fellow mother and tell her "I just need an hour."

I'm sure she'll understand :)